BAAAAAAAAA!

Baltimore

as opposed to the ACTUAL burial place that is some 40 yards away:


I tried going to this website. unfortunately, it doesn't exist.




This is where Ryan goes to art school. The building is made out of bullet- proof glass because it gets shot at so often.



Sure enough:

brotherly love (i see dead people)

the washington monument blinks good night

Plug

For the new Podcast.

More info on Rob's Blog.

maybe i waited too long...

to review movies again, so reviewing all of them might just be old news and totally pointless.

The Bourne Supremacy
Live Free or Die Hard
The Simpsons

i'm not going to review these, but if you haven't seen them yet, you need to make some friends andask them if you can go see movies with them. or you should get a job and just go by yourself.

Superbad
"yeah, they said that would happen in health class."

B+
i just like to see what happens when a group of dudes get together to write a raunchy teen comedy and decide against holding back on the potty talk. if its going to be R rated, shit pussy dammit, they are going to make it R rated. go big or go home. yeah.


Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
"Expelliarmus!"

B-
It's weird, i went to see this movie but i remember very little of it. i think i was really distracted. though i would never admit it until she is 18 but it was probably by hermione. i do remember it being more different than the book than the other movies but whatever. no one should expect these movies to even come close to the books.


Ratatouille
"I don't wanna eat garbage dad!"

A-
It was good, but pixar is such a factory for good movies it is hard to compare to other ones. I would say this was my 4th favorite behind mosters inc, finding nemo and toy story....but 4th favorite doesn't sound very impressive. see what i mean?


This Is England
"I'm Harvey and I'm here to give you jip."

A-
this was one of those pleasant surpises for me. i mean, i was expecting it to be pretty good- and it was. i was also expecting it to be really really violent- and it wasn't, which was something of a relief. i don't know, i think it would have ruined a lot of the tension it builds until there is a little violence. the other thing i really liked about it was how charming and depressing it was at the same time. i did however, give it the minus because of the cover of "please please please give me what i want" they played near the end. it was just a lousy cover of a good song. it was wrong to do and i hope the filmmakers are sorry. really good movie though.


Rescue Dawn
"I love America. America gave me wings."

B
How does Christian Bale just decide to make himself so skinny- and then just do it like it was nothing? oh you want me to be batman? no problem, let me go put back on my muscles. I don't really want to spoil any plot points for the movie, but i did appreciate how unexpected that one part was - cindy knows what i am talking about, she and i both still make jokes about it sometimes.


King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
"No punk bastard- EVER!- Got a Gnarly piece of Poon-Tang by being SENSITIVE, or CONSIDERATE!"

A
The best thing about this movie is that it is so fun to just judge people, and feel totally justified about it. The people in this movie are so easy to judge, and to do it is so enjoyable. villains, heroes, all of them.

also, bonus points for using THIS SONG- AWESOME!


There doesn't seem to be a lot of good stuff out right now, so it might be a while before i post more- but i'm also bad at being a regular blogger, so it will probably be a while anyway

Also, i'm trying to pitch this movie... what if a character from the BOM came to find himself in the big city? kind of like a crocodile dundee like thing....

Shennannigans!

I'm thinking of calling it "Dude, where is my Liahona and Sword of Laban?"

now i know how god must feel when HE'S holding a gun.

saturday afternoon david took me and christopher to this place in springville to shoot guns. mindy took some pictures of us, then went to the mall while the three of us pretended like we were real dudes.

it started innocent enough- but one thing led to another and before we knew it we were shooting the machine guns.


I did some image research! These are all the ones we tried out:



christopher liked shooting the Uzi gangsta style:



Dave was a natural with the giant cannon gun, but i wasn't so good. the recoil was too powerful for me and it messed up my hand because i wasn't holding tight enough. BOOM!



One thing i learned was that when you are under attack by an army of Taliban Skeleton Fighters, one of the best places to shoot them is in their neon pelvis. I tried to do this with one of the machine guns, and i landed a couple of shots there, but mostly i seemed to manage to blow off his skeleton arm.

sweet baby jesus this was awesome.

i realized though how impossible it would be for daft punk to play at anyone's house- there is no way in hell you would be able to get that super electro pyramid inside.

also, i took this video of me with my cell phone during their set:

Excellent News!

R. Kelly has announced the release of Trapped in the Closet Chapters 13-22!

i know the only person more excited than myself is cindy, who can do her web based research HERE

Or watch one of my favorite chapters (okay okay, they're ALL my favorite - but the midget with the big piece soils himself! genius!)

DRAMA!



i

find out why i am so white HERE

read all about why i am dressed up like magneto HERE

maybe you've heard about it already on the internet, but i was at lagoon yesterday and it rocked me. since i am lazy i am going to refer you to rob, who not only took all the pictures but does a bettter job of telling it than i would anyway:

gentle rob



here are my reviews of some of the rides:

Colossus
A-
i feel like this roller coaster has been a part of my life since i was born - except for that 8 or 9 year part of my life i didn't go to lagoon.... by the third time we rode it, i actually felt myself losing conciousness coming out of the second loop. awesome.



Wicked
B+
Christopher and Lee were right. it's all Foreplay. the whole straight up and straight down thing was amazing, and the barrel roll destroyed me (in the good way) but it's over in 20 seconds and the rest of the ride you are zooming around wishing you could do that first part again.

Spider and the Fly
B
Lots of fun, but that pice of the seat that sticks up in front of your crotch was crushing me and i didn't appreciate that.

Jet Star II
C-
It gave me shaken baby syndrome.

The Roller Coaster
B
Also violently shaky, but fun too. it's a classic. i mean, they couldn't help it from shaking when the mormon pioneers built in in 1846 or whatever.

The Rocket
B+
Really short but nothing beats a good freefall. The only ride of the day that actually scared me. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone with diarrhea.

The Log Flume
B
It would have been more fun if the "dude flume" had succeeded in its origional prpose of overloading the log and getting it stuck somewhere- bonus points for being surprisingly resiliant and successfully sending like 900 pounds of dude around with no trouble



Hydro Luge
B
Also pretty short but for some reason waterslides are really awesome when you can just go down them in your clothes.

Carousel
B+
Not exactly a thriller, its a good excuse to just ride a ride without having to wait in line or having blood rush to your head or anything. All you have to do is sit there, go round and round, and think about how much happier you were when you were a kid.

Dracula's Castle
C
Second worst haunted ride of all time (behind lagoon's terrorride, which i will not ride), but hey, it's funny. Also, it struck me as a good place in the unlikely event i would ever be there on a date to get a little playful action. I wonder how many park emplyees have done it in darcula's castle......?

A side note, Christopher was telling me about the amazing mural on the Terroride that i couldn't see because i wasn't willing to stand in line to see it. I found an online review of that mural, and i kind of regret not gettign a closer look. See for yourself HERE

Rattlesnake Rapids
B+
People ride things like this to get senselessly wet in their street clothes. Mission accomplished. Bonus points for the old prospector voice being broadcast through the line.

Sky Scraper
B
Ferris wheels are boring, but this one isn't so bad. probably because it is so big and you can see forever from the top

The Balcony is MINE

because everyone wants to know what i think, these are the movies i've seen in theaters recently (last 3 months) and what i think of them:

First thing is first, time to review all of the "threequels":

Spiderman 3
If you want girl, call her and say, "I good man; you good woman...”


C-
he combed his hair forward! he's evil!

eh.

Shrek the Third
"I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron"


C+
More of the same, its most redeeming feature being that it was mercifully short.

Pirates of The Carribbean 3: At World's End
"savvy?"

C
Confession: i have yet to see it but i figure by averaging my opinions of the first two i probably have a pretty accurate opinion of the third- maybe even on the generous side. i'll find out this week i guess.

Oceans 13
"It's not even my term. I read it. In MAXIM Magazine."

B
Actually, i want to give it a D, because it reminded me of the kind of movie a bunch of friends make with their parents video camera after school on a friday afternoon (ask the new awesome if they's ever seen any of mine and rob's work). I don't even think anyone bothered to write a script more than a week before they made it....but after the first 20 minutes or so of the film- when i came to terms with the fact that there really was no major plot and that it was just an hour and a half long series of in-jokes and dressing up for fun- i was actually able to enjoy it. i'm not gonna deny that those dudes are hot and charming and witty and ultra easy to watch together onscreen....
Oh yeah, also, i couldn't figure out who the "twelfth" or "thirteenth" addition to the eleven was...?

As for as the rest of the movies i've seen:

The Lives of Others
"They then presumably have intercourse."


A
Simultaneously one of the most uplifting and depressing endings ever. It was good. Knowing beforehand it was about the Stasi, and spying, and government oppression, and revolution….i was expecting a lot of violence. Not so. It was more like that movie “the insider” the main difference being that THIS movie was not boring as hell.

Amazing Grace
" I bow to my friend in all superior matters regarding the pox."


D
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Knocked Up
" Tell him not to jerk off with a noose around his neck - it's dangerous."

A-
Totally juvenile. Totally funny. Not for those sensitive to excessive nudity. One of my favorite things about it was that it reunited so many members of the cast of Freaks and Geeks. They even got James Franco to be in it. The “minus” is for its failure to reunite the entire cast of Freaks and Geeks.

Grindhouse
"White meat. Dark Meat. It all gets carved."

B+
Its just one of those movies that is a lot of fun to see in the theater in the right company. Lee and I both decided that it is NOT a good movie to take a date to, especially if you aren’t that comfortable with each other…Also, a couple of weekends ago I spent a lot of time going to all these bars- and I kept thinking about when Kurt Russell’s character is getting lip for spending so much time in bars without drinking so he says: “You know, a bar offers all kinds of things other than alcohol…..like nacho grande platters….”….so basically I spent the whole weekend wanting nachos….

Hot Fuzz
"By the power of Greyskull!"


A
I loved every second of it. This is exactly why I go to see movies in theaters. I think Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg need to do the next “Ocean’s” movie.

That’s all I think. Maybe in 2 or 3 months I’ll write about some more if I’ve seen more by then.

the most anticipated film event of the summer:

i can't wait to see this movie

where i spent last saturday:

the olympic sculpture park- seattle, wa: a good place to be.

Memorial Day OR, "the owls are not what they seem".

So for memorial day, i took a break from partying with all the roller girls by partying with just two of them. I took kim and frankie on a tour of north bend, more infamously known as twin peaks...


these are they:


We ate pie and drank coffee at tweede's (the double r):


and i showed them the salish lodge aka the great northern:


then i took them on a ferry ride to my hometown bremerton, showed them one of my favorite places (seabeck beach on the hood canal), and built a campfire in my parents backyard. (no pictures available. Damn me.)

we did lots that day.

the skinny

ok, so last week my friend kim came to visit, and she didn't come alone. she came with the texas rollergirls, who were in town to throw down against the local roller derby gang.
so saturday night i went to see the bout in a big old warehouse in Magnusson park. it was the kind of place you go to see big underground events like secret street fighting or something- i kept thinking of that van damme movie 'lionheart' or that sasha mitchell movie 'kickboxer 4' where cody from step by step fought a gang of bikers in a warehouse....

ANYWAYS, it was okay i guess,... that is, if you are into things like 40 chicks with tattoos on roller skates trying to knock each other down (i am). Fortunately there were people there taking pictures!
There was even a fight! Fortunately there were people there taking pictures! awesome!


the rest of the weekend was spent going to parties, and afterparties, and all night diners, and having pool parties with the texas rollergirls in their downtown hotel pool and and driving some of them around cause you know, sober.

if i'm not asleep tomorrow i will reveal on the internet what i did for memorial day....