Friday, June 15, 2007

The Balcony is MINE

because everyone wants to know what i think, these are the movies i've seen in theaters recently (last 3 months) and what i think of them:


First thing is first, time to review all of the "threequels":

Spiderman 3
If you want girl, call her and say, "I good man; you good woman...”


C-
he combed his hair forward! he's evil!

eh.


Shrek the Third
"I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron"


C+
More of the same, its most redeeming feature being that it was mercifully short.


Pirates of The Carribbean 3: At World's End
"savvy?"

C
Confession: i have yet to see it but i figure by averaging my opinions of the first two i probably have a pretty accurate opinion of the third- maybe even on the generous side. i'll find out this week i guess.



Oceans 13
"It's not even my term. I read it. In MAXIM Magazine."


B
Actually, i want to give it a D, because it reminded me of the kind of movie a bunch of friends make with their parents video camera after school on a friday afternoon (ask the new awesome if they's ever seen any of mine and rob's work). I don't even think anyone bothered to write a script more than a week before they made it....but after the first 20 minutes or so of the film- when i came to terms with the fact that there really was no major plot and that it was just an hour and a half long series of in-jokes and dressing up for fun- i was actually able to enjoy it. i'm not gonna deny that those dudes are hot and charming and witty and ultra easy to watch together onscreen....
Oh yeah, also, i couldn't figure out who the "twelfth" or "thirteenth" addition to the eleven was...?


As for as the rest of the movies i've seen:


The Lives of Others
"They then presumably have intercourse."


A
Simultaneously one of the most uplifting and depressing endings ever. It was good. Knowing beforehand it was about the Stasi, and spying, and government oppression, and revolution….i was expecting a lot of violence. Not so. It was more like that movie “the insider” the main difference being that THIS movie was not boring as hell.



Amazing Grace
" I bow to my friend in all superior matters regarding the pox."


D
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.


Knocked Up
" Tell him not to jerk off with a noose around his neck - it's dangerous."

A-
Totally juvenile. Totally funny. Not for those sensitive to excessive nudity. One of my favorite things about it was that it reunited so many members of the cast of Freaks and Geeks. They even got James Franco to be in it. The “minus” is for its failure to reunite the entire cast of Freaks and Geeks.


Grindhouse
"White meat. Dark Meat. It all gets carved."


B+
Its just one of those movies that is a lot of fun to see in the theater in the right company. Lee and I both decided that it is NOT a good movie to take a date to, especially if you aren’t that comfortable with each other…Also, a couple of weekends ago I spent a lot of time going to all these bars- and I kept thinking about when Kurt Russell’s character is getting lip for spending so much time in bars without drinking so he says: “You know, a bar offers all kinds of things other than alcohol…..like nacho grande platters….”….so basically I spent the whole weekend wanting nachos….


Hot Fuzz
"By the power of Greyskull!"


A
I loved every second of it. This is exactly why I go to see movies in theaters. I think Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg need to do the next “Ocean’s” movie.


That’s all I think. Maybe in 2 or 3 months I’ll write about some more if I’ve seen more by then.

12 comments:

Cache said...

this is the most worthwhile blog post i've maybe ever read.

nathaniel said...

thank you, thank you. you are too kind.

lisa said...

i think along with being a tour guide on the underground seattle tour, you should also look into being a movie critic. these are very accurate reviews.

lisa said...

i think along with being a tour guide on the underground seattle tour, you should also look into being a movie critic. these are very accurate reviews.

nathaniel said...

oh the underground tour. I have been having this major personal battle for the last few months over whether or not i have time to be a tour guide there. oh i want to.... but do i have the time? i don't know that i do! but maybe?

Cindy said...

I think I could be a cougar.

nathaniel said...

hey me too! ...wait... you aren't talking about byu are you?

ashleigh said...

spider-man was pretty funny. hot fuzz was da bomb. & freaks and geeks is SO good. have you seen waitress? it is girly and sexy, but so CUTE!!! A-!!

Cindy said...

Boring.

Are you going to post something about Live Free or Die Trying?

Cindy said...

Well, I want to hear what you have to say. You're sort of funny.

becky said...

go see Die Hard. it's great

nathaniel said...

i did go see it and it WAS pretty great. it will make my next set of reviews.